More Wild

True story about me . . . .
several month ago, I had nobody to talk to,though i was surrounded with people who loved me and whom i loved. i would not go to phychogist, i couldn't confide my inner conficts in my bets friend,my sister or my parents without tearing them down to my ownlevel. i was sure they wouldn't understand my conficts or worse,they would judge me for them. i was supposed to be a strong person whether i wanted to be or not. and the rellity, i could not cope with anything.
you see,even after I'd intellectually figured thing out,seen where I'd gone wrong,analysed the problems in my past life and background,I still did not any answers. to try and put the pieces of my life back together again was a cruel joke,an impossibility.
many dificult emostions built up, and then increased,and finally multiplied. there was not room enough inside me,just as there is not room enough inside any of us, for are the terrors,the troubles,the longings, and the dreams. the have to spill over somewhere and someone.
by the time i chose suicide as the only option left open to me,i had intellectually figured it all out,but had ni cure and no real aswers. I didn't  know,I had to establish a joint enterprise with God for the lasting cure. the answers to life's conflicts  do not come from an other friend,family or counselor. If you are to spread your thoughts,your dreams,your unacknowledged wickedness,your passing crazy fantasies,your hopes,your loves and hates out on to outside, on a table . you must do it before someone who has within Him greater tolerance, greater comprension and supernatural powers of forgiveness. there is only one such person and that is God.
when those,when Ichose suicide,someone come to my front room and to knock my door, Iwas stopped during the act of suicude; and alone,I went before God. to my amazement,He heard me. from this moment,I know about love! with one sweeping motion,and He said,tenderly " here,dear broken and bettered child,take this. It's your new life whole and completew. I did not come to patch and glue you back together again,but I've come to bring you a new life. I'll keep the wheels of your thoughts with my love; and you will live and tick away the seconds of this life with great hope,peace and aduntdant joy!"
a beautiful,openly honest personality begins with acknowledging our need and opening our mins,wills,and emotions to the God of aswers. it my mean finding you own " open altar" kneeling before Him. the Woman accepts God's forgiveness has connected her spirit with God's. She has entered into a joint enterprise with the God who made her. Her personality begins to show some special traits and spiritual qualities. the inner beauteous glow begins.